So, here it is. 2013 was a damn good year for films if I do say so myself. It was hard reducing this list down to just 20, because any one of my honourable mentions would have had a welcome place in my list. 2013 had some game-changers (in more ways than one), some rule-breakers, and some life-changers. There were plenty of films that came out that you could just tell would live on into the future. We had Alfonso Cuaron defying the restrictions of cinema, Spike Jonze defeating every other portrayal of love in cinematic history, and Leonardo DiCaprio destroying any notion that he's not a proper actor with a singular Quaalude-induced scene. What a time to be alive.

Alas, let's close the book on 2013 before we close the book on May 2014. Because there's no time like the present...

Honourable Mentions: Spring Breakers, What Maisie Knew, Pain & Gain, The Bling Ring, This is the End, Fruitvale Station, Don Jon, Rush, Dallas Buyers Club, Drinking Buddies, Inside Llewyn Davis, Philomena, The Hunger Games: Catching Fire, Frozen.



Here's one of these films that slips so far under the radar that it is pretty much criminal. This film should be taught in schools. Sure, it gets extremely melodramatic in some places, but the general message behind it is about the only message we've desperately needed a film to cover. Not to mention it has some fantastic performances from Andrea Riseborough, Jason Bateman, Jonah Bobo, Alexander Skarsgard and Paula Patton. Very, very impressive.


Just as Disconnect shows the dangers of the internet, Her shows the good things it could be capable of in the future...which is also doubled with the bad. This isn't really a film about a guy falling in love with his computer, but about love itself. As I said in my director's post, it was a damn brave film for Spike Jonze to make, and possibly one of the more realistic portrayals of love on film in recent times. Oh, and Scarlett Johansson. That's all.




I really like simple films. Frances Ha is a very simple film. Yet, it is one that I constantly feel like watching. There's something special about watching a character who is built by the fact that she's directionless, and we just have to follow her as she resists the need to find a direction. Bolstered by a strong performance by Greta Gerwig, Frances Ha doesn't ask for much, nor does it do a lot, but there's so much to admire about it.


Much has been said about this film, from the 3 hour running time to the way the director treated his crew to the explicit sexual content. Yes, this is a film worth talking about - but those three things aren't the most exciting things about it. Again, this is a film that works on account of it's simplicity, following a teenage girl through to her first foray into adulthood in such a way that never feels rushed, yet never feels like it is wasting any time. I'm glad that somebody thought that we needed to see Adele Exarchopolous doing a whole lot of every day things, because I could watch her forever.


Purely because this is one of those films that I watched and straight after could say "damn, that was one of the best films I've seen in a long time." It doesn't tell a particularly new story (and I'm partial to being terrified by any kind of movie about abduction), yet the way it is constructed is something to behold. From the brilliant performances from an ensemble that includes Hugh Jackman, Jake Gyllenhaal, Maria Bello, Paul Dano, Viola Davis, Terence Howard and an unrecognizable Melissa Leo, to the careful direction from Denis Villeneuve to the absolutely stunning cinematography from the ever reliable Roger Deakins, Prisoners is a slow-burner that never loses its momentum.


I've said it before, and I'll say it again: I envy the way that Asghar Farhadi can use words, and only words, to craft a thriller. Following up from his almost perfect 2011 film A Separation, The Past also retreats into the familiar territory of family problems, but in a way that only Farhadi could pull off. There's nothing astoundingly different about the story of the film, it's just the way he tells it. The way he explores the way the past can have an effect on the present, and the horrible ways in which people can cross paths. At the centre is a brilliant performance from Berenice Bejo, who you'd barely recognise in comparison to her energetic performance in The Artist. Quite disappointing how this one missed out on most of the awards contention.


This is one of the most clever films that we've had recently, narrative wise. Sure, we can fawn over the Nolanesque films that play with narrative structure, but this film is more about the threads that create the narrative. It's so incredibly moving to watch not only the intensely personal story of Sarah Polley's family, but also the way she ponders over the way these stories get told. Creative filmmaking at it's most underrated and also at it's finest.




Again, here's a case of a simple film ticking all the boxes. I was a huge fan of Nicole Holofcener's previous film Please Give, and Enough Said definitely has the same ingredients that make it work. Her sharp screenplay is given some extra zing from the great performances from Julia Louis-Dreyfus and James Gandolfini (with some solid ensemble work from the likes of Toni Collette, Catherine Keener and my girl hero Tavi Gevinson in her first film). It's such a bittersweet film, in all the best ways.




I've seen a fair few depressing films in my time, but I think that this may be one of the most depressing films I've ever seen. Because people absolutely suck. I don't think any other film has ever made me hate people so much. And that's all I have to say about that (but yes I realise it is quite strange to like a film so much that made me hate people so much).




Here's another one of those films that I watched and could only say "wow, that's the best film I've seen in a long time." One of the rare early releases of the year that managed to make a lasting impression, this twisted psychological thriller from Steven Soderbergh was quite a clever one, even though it leaves one feeling a little exhausted by the end of it. To think this was the next film from the guy behind Magic Mike just proves Soderbergh's versatility and talent - and even though I refuse to believe he's retiring, I really don't ever want that to happen.




Hello, my name is Stevee Taylor and in 2013 I went through a harmful addiction to a certain film called The Great Gatsby which I loathed as an adaptation but loved as a film. Yes, I watched the film every month since I first saw it in June. I haven't seen it at all this year, though. I just really enjoy Baz Luhrmann's extravagance. And Leonardo DiCaprio's face. And Elizabeth Debicki's everything. But I'm getting over my addiction, slowly.




This film threw me off a bit. I wasn't really expecting it to go into the places that it did, but I'm damn glad it did. I loved how this film was a triptych that explored every possible reaction instead of focusing on the main drama. I loved how damn ambitious it was, and not in the way that we usually throw the term "ambitious" to - it was ambitious in it's narrative. Also, we don't talk enough about how great Bradley Cooper was in that film.




Possibly one of my biggest surprises from last year. Tom Hanks is totally in control. Paul Greengrass is totally in control. Barkhad Abdi was probably one of my favourite discoveries from last year. And this is a film that I'm geared not to like - but it has had such a profound effect on me that I don't think I'll ever be able to watch it again.




95% of the reason why I love this film so much comes down to the amazing, awe-inspiring, intense performance from Cate Blanchett. It is easily one of the best performances we've had in years. She's an absolutely flawless masterclass in how to maintain control over an uncontrollable character. Not to mention that this film is a loose modernisation of A Streetcar Named Desire, so I was bound to love it from the very beginning.




Just call this my The Perks of Being a Wallflower for 2013. But mostly because I saw this film just as I had finished high school and found myself connecting to it in more ways than one. Aimee Finicky is literally me. It's so scary. Weird connections with my life aside, the film is an utterly beautiful rumination on the confusion of being at high school before you step out into the big wide world, and also the confusion of love as a teenager. Everything is so damn true in this film that it hurts.




Steve McQueen makes utterly perfect films and I want to know how. It doesn't need to be said that 12 Years a Slave is one of the most important films ever made. The best thing is that it isn't so aware of how important it is and doesn't try to hammer its message home by dousing it in melodrama. McQueen directs it with a raw and unflinching power, backed up with performances from Chiwetel Ejiofor, Lupita Nyong'o, Michael Fassbender and Sarah Paulson that are a little bit soul-baring.




Again - another simple film. But a film that is so incredibly powerful. Destin Cretton's feature debut takes a look at the time he spent at a foster care facility, turning the experiences he had there into a film. At the centre is Grace (Brie Larson), a woman who cares for everybody before herself, who doesn't take her own advice and who is completely broken. Through her, we see an array of broken characters from broken homes, and we see how desperate Grace is to restore the peace in their lives. This is an extremely special film that never asks too much or creates too little. I can't wait until I can finally buy it and watch it over and over again and just cry for hours. Even Keith Stanfield's rap is enough to make me cry.




We really underestimate Richard Linklater's status as one of the best working filmmakers around today. His filmography is so vast and prolific, and almost always great. Before Midnight is one of his best films in years, though, just as the whole trilogy is probably the biggest highlight of his career (though Boyhood may challenge that - GIVE THAT FILM TO ME NOW). If this is the end of Celine and Jesse for us, we can be happy. The film effortlessly portrays Celine and Jesse after all of the romance and instead shows them in their well settled life. The things they talk about are as always, absolutely beautiful. While this one is probably the most depressing entry to the series, it is probably the most realistic. As much as I'd love to see Celine and Jesse again in another nine years, this was enough.




Simply because I can't wait to be able to tell my grandchildren that I saw this film twice in the cinemas back when I was younger, and it changed my perspective on cinema. This is one of the few films that I'm happy to call "ground-breaking" in terms of the technology used, especially because Alfonso Cuaron uses everything available to him in the best possible way. For a 90 minute film, this feels like a marathon, which is something that we don't really experience too often. I can't bear to watch it on anything smaller than a gigantic cinema screen, but I will cherish the memories of experiencing this on the big screen. Even if that experience gave me serious anxiety issues.



I seem to have to defend my love for this film an awful lot, but here it is: this film is one of the most perfect portrayals of society that I've ever seen. That scene where Patrick Denham (Kyle Chandler) sits on the subway after bringing down Jordan Belfort and realises that he's just another person is possibly the most unfortunately true realities of the world we live in. Who is really the hero here? Martin Scorsese has created a film that is so disgustingly fun that it's as equally easy to like as it is hard to like. The film is iconic and moronic, fun and sickening, mindless and mindful. Everyone is in control of this film even though it is telling a story that is wildly out of control. And just for one final time: LEO WAS ROBBED.

What do you think of these choices? What were your favourite films from 2013?

Did you know that the most fun thing you can do on a Sunday afternoon before you go to work is rewatch Blue Valentine and spend a good 20 minutes crying over it?

Didn't know that valuable information? Well I can 100% confirm that while rewatching Blue Valentine may not be the most happy experience, it is an experience nonetheless.

A little bit of context: I first watched Blue Valentine when it first came out on DVD in July 2011, when I was a tiny 15 year old enjoying the last days of illegally watching R16s. I have not been able to go back to it since. Until there came a Sunday when I thought: "I've got a couple of hours to kill, let's watch the most depressing film in my collection this side of Revolutionary Road."

Apparently I didn't really remember the magnitude of absolute earth-shattering devastation that this film brought to my world. Or I was watching it with different eyes when I was 15. But holy heck is this film depressing.


One thing that really took me by surprise this time around was the way Derek Cianfrance loves playing with his narratives. One of my favourite films from last year was his sophomore effort The Place Beyond the Pines. Here was a film that easily could have been split into three parts, yet he expanded his narrative beyond what he could have. He didn't only show the cause, but also showed the effect. I talk about this a lot more in my review of the film from last year, but to put it simply: I really admire Cianfrance's ambition. We're too often brushing simple narrative ambition under the rug for the more complex, confusing narratives drawing in a plethora of realms (however, that does make for some damn good cinema when it's done right).

Blue Valentine is an ambitious film. Not as glaringly ambitious as The Place Beyond the Pines, but ambitious nonetheless. You couldn't really say that films about breaking/broken relationships aren't really hot topic, especially in the realm of independent film-making. Cianfrance expands his narrative here also, giving us two films in one: the film that shows the early days of the relationship between Dean and Cindy, and then also the latter days (or day, considering most of the action happens over the course of 24 hours). Instead of handing them to us in perfect chronological order to gulp down, he cross-cuts the two narratives together. Bittersweet or a bitter pill? Hmmmm.


I honestly think that the way that Cianfrance expands his narrative and then arranges it is the key to this film being so devastating. I recently rewatched Revolutionary Road again, which is an equally devastating story of a crumbling marriage set to the backdrop of 1950's suburban boredom. Revolutionary Road definitely goes to more extremes than Blue Valentine does, and comparing on paper, Blue Valentine has no right to be as devastating as it is. But just look at the final few minutes, which edit together Dean and Cindy's wedding day and the end of their marriage. The two parallel narratives are brought to a close together, giving a simultaneous happy end to one and a sad end to the other. And then there's that final shot of Dean disappearing into the distance and Cindy walking away with their daughter in her arms. Perhaps there's a little bit of cruel irony that Cianfrance chooses to set this scene with Dean walking towards the fireworks in the background, which then lead to the credits playing a slideshow of Dean and Cindy in happier times with fireworks all around them. After all, it is fireworks that start all of these things, isn't it? And Dean is walking right into them, even though the fireworks are all but gone from his life.


Just as Cianfrance does with The Place Beyond the Pines, showing both the cause and the consequent effect in the future, here he shows the process of falling in love and the process of falling out of love. Not exactly new concepts, but the way that Cianfrance treats them is with this startling mixture of a little bit of romantic whimsy that has developed in filmic love stories over the years and the gritty realism that has become cemented in films of this kind. Of course, the romantic stuff isn't a hard sell considering we have Ryan Gosling in the lead role. However, this is lightyears away from his most famous work as everyone woman's dream lover in The Notebook. The character development, along with the stunningly real performances from Gosling and Michelle Williams are key here - instead of the film focusing on just the relationship between the two characters, it also focuses on what makes the two characters separate entities. This is something that's always kind of annoyed me about 'romantic' films about relationships: they're always so concerned with marrying the characters together without realising that the characters can each stand on their own two feet. A considerable amount of time is spent developing the characters - particularly Cindy, which makes it a little easier to understand just why they fell in love and why they fell out of love. Instead of fabricating the why into these grand romantic gestures straight out of a Nicholas Sparks novel, Gosling and Williams are masters of subtlety. Sure, it's subtlety that could be blown out of proportion by over-romanticised Tumblr kids, but it is a little more believable than some of the other syrupy stuff we see. It also works both ways - apart from the end, the other most devastating part of this film (I think) is the scene towards the end where Dean tries to hug Cindy and she just resists him. This one scene doesn't pinpoint one singular reason as to why they had fallen out of love, but instead shows how time has completely worn them down. Whereas that hug would have been welcomed back in the early days, its pretty much the most repulsive thing that could happen now.

Since I've been watching The Disappearance of Eleanor Rigby's trailer at least 50 times per day (because THIS IS THE YEAR OF JESSICA CHASTAIN AGAIN!!!), I've been getting a few Blue Valentine-ish vibes from that one. Mainly because Rigby looks like the definition of an expanded narrative. But hopefully my heart has healed up by then thanks to this little rewatch of Blue Valentine.

Also, when you watch Blue Valentine and the remake of Endless Love almost back to back it kinda gives you a weird perspective on things. So I don't really recommend doing that. Not that any of you would be insane enough to watch Endless Love anyway.

I must admit, it has been a little while since a film really 'clicked' for me. Not really a fault of all the films I've been watching, it has just been a little hard for me to really escape into a film. Frank was the one that changed it all, though. To be honest, I thought it was going to be a little jarring watching a film where Michael Fassbender has a giant head over his head, but it really didn't take anything way from his performance. He was so fascinating to watch, particularly in the film's final act. However, you can tell that he really let himself go when he was wearing the mask, owning his craziness which fit in perfectly with the way the film unfolds.
The film zips and zaps from one extreme to the other with dizzying speed, becoming one of the darkest comedies I've seen in quite some time. It is made of all the tropes that would make your typical band road movie, but it is also a pretty interesting look at the connection between creativity and madness. While many have called out the fact that having the film centred on plain, wannabe musician Jon (played by the charming Domhall Gleeson who should probably be in everything), I thought it was a great way of grounding the material and always keeping the film in check. It isn't just Frank who is the eccentric one - his entire band is filled up with some pretty crazy characters who don't seem to be filtered. Jon provides a lens for keeping the film centred, and also, his reliance on social media is one of the better depictions I've seen of the internet in film (not sure why, but everyone always manages to get it wrong).
Basically, I had a really good time with Frank. It was so dark in some places, so light in other places, and just generally a pretty strange film that wore its heart on its sleeve. And again: Michael Fassbender is everything. Best performance from him I've seen this side of Shame, I'd say.




I guess I went into Locke expecting something similar to Buried, except with Tom Hardy in a car. However, the film doesn't really take a thriller route where Hardy is left to fight for his life (or maybe keep his car moving to avoid death, a la Speed). Instead, it is a pretty complex character building exercise where Hardy plays construction worker Ivan Locke whose life is falling apart in pretty much every corner. He has made a major stuff up at work, a one night stand he had in the past is now having a baby which in turn means his marriage is disintegrating. He is left to try and navigate all of these problems on his commute to London to go and be with the woman who is having his baby, using his time to call all of the people who will either rip into him or help him and trying to destroy the demon that is his father. Which was all a little bit different to the original thriller that I was expecting and took me by surprise, but...I guess I liked it?
Actually, I guess I'm a little on the fence about this one. I greatly admired the way it was shot and edited together, never taking the focus away from what was going on inside the car but also soaking up the cold night time atmosphere of the multitude of lights on the motorway. Tom Hardy, who has been taking a bit of a break from the screens which he was a permanent fixture of, delivers a commanding performance that provides a compelling portrait of a good man who has found himself in a few bad situations. However, it just left me feeling a little bit empty. The end was so abrupt and I don't really feel like it offered enough of a conclusion to the story. There were admittedly a few times where I found myself tiring of the material a little bit, hoping that something a little more substantial would happen to throw things a little more out of balance. All up, though, it was a pretty commendable achievement and an interesting experience. Definitely one to be savoured on the big screen. Considering night-time lights are pretty much my favourite thing ever, this movie was a visual dream.


I'm really not sure of how I felt about Maps to the Stars. Personally, I love films about Hollywood, particularly when they are Mulholland Drive-level fucked up. Maps to the Stars is a special kind of fucked up, though. I can't really tell you too much of the plot considering the way it unfolds and gives you something completely different to what you were expecting (whatever you are expecting when you go into the film is pretty much not what you come out with). What I can tell you, however, is that Julianne Moore absolutely kills it. Her construction of a jaded Hollywood starlet is quite different from the usual "oh pity me I can't get any jobs" sob story and more of a sad vision of someone who never really grew up.
The film has multiple facets and I'm not really sure of how I felt about it as a whole. There's a whole lot of hallucinatory stuff which was a little bit overdone and was treated to be quite campy. But when the film was full on satirizing Hollywood, that's when it was at its best. The way it showed the unconstructed, messy parts of Hollywood and the clean, empty houses that the rich and famous inhabited was absolutely fascinating. It just gets really messed up. Maybe a little too messed up for its own good. Mia Wasikowska is terrifying in her role, but it echoed too much of her previous work in Stoker for it to be fully effective for me. Her character's motives and problems were bizarre and perhaps a little underdeveloped for one to believe the craziness that was happening. The cast also includes a bit of an annoying John Cusack, Carrie Fisher in an all-important cameo, Robert Pattinson driving around a limo (yes, this is better than Cosmopolis since I know you're all wondering) and not really serving a lot of purpose to the plot, and a brilliant Olivia Williams (just to point out again: this woman is great and needs to be in more movies).
Maps to the Stars is a pretty intriguing look at Hollywood, but it gets a bit far ahead of itself too often. Don't get me wrong, I did like it a bit. However, that was mainly because of the phenomenal performance by Julianne Moore and the fact that I have a penchant for dark Hollywood stories. If the film was a little more spunky and a little more developed, I definitely would have connected with it more. For now, though, it feels like it could have spent a little more time in the editing room and a little less time throwing around bizarre ideas.


I can't really say anything different from what has already been said: this film is a masterpiece in every sense of the word. I think it came at the exact right time in my life, too. The time period that Mason grew up in is pretty much the exact time period that I grew up in, especially as this film came to be in my first year of university (and that's where the film ends). Which is pretty much perfect, because lately I've been reflecting on all of those formative years and what do they all mean? And all that philosophical banter. Boyhood is such a damn authentic way to show growing up. No, that's not just because they actually did film this over 12 years and allowed their actors to grow up naturally. But because it focuses on the little authentic parts of growing up that we tend to forget about: the music we used to listen to (I could always tell exactly where the film was at because of the music, it lifted the whole thing), the conversations we used to have, the people and things that were around and us and just disappeared.
The authenticity is the best (of many) asset that this film has, because most of these "coming-of-age" films want to hammer home the whole "being a teenager is so hard because I don't know what to do with life" stuff that no movie can ever truly get right. It doesn't focus on one particular area, either. We don't have Mason's first love blown all out of proportion. We don't have his first experience with alcohol made into this big "don't drink alcohol it makes you stupid" fantasy. We see things as we see life. It isn't made up by one particular moment, it is made up of so many different facets that don't often connect into a fully-formed, tidy narrative. And I applaud Richard Linklater and his team for that. This film is the closest thing to a life experience that I've seen. That might just be because my life is pretty much parallel to the time period that the film took place in, but everything just felt so damn real.
It may be a bold statement, but Boyhood is everything that I love about cinema. The way it can portray the little things in life that we don't often stop to take notice of, the way it makes you realise all of this stuff that you didn't really think about, and the way that a whole lot of people can act of something scripted and make it feel like your watching something that is so real (I know this is a fundamental thing in cinema, but I feel like this film really got it right).
Simply put: I loved this film. I love what Richard Linklater was crazy enough to do here. This is cinema at its absolute raw perfection.

This is a really dark birthday candle picture but I think it's pretty and there's no 19th birthday photos anyway

Hi, I know, two posts in one week...damn the world must be headed for an apocalypse or something. Rather, it is my 19th birthday tomorrow. Which is interesting because I feel absolutely no excitement for this new age because it doesn't really mean anything. It is like being 17 - that awkward gap between sweet 16 and the big 18. So when it came time for me to think about doing a birthday post, I really didn't have anything to draw on because there's no such thing as R19 movies here (although there probably would be, considering that New Zealand's rating system is just ridiculous) and I've already "grown up" since I have to pay full adult price for everything now.

Seriously, it sucks having to draw my attention away from the kids menu at restaurants because I'm an adult so I have to get steak.

In my thinking, though, I came to the realisation that even though 19 isn't a particularly special milestone age, this is the first birthday in my "new life", you could say. Gone are the days of growing up in a small town, since now I've lived in Christchurch for over six months and passed my first semester of university. I no longer have to go grocery shopping with mum but I can buy chocolate whenever I want which is honestly the best part of growing up. Oh, and did I mention that I have a cinema five minutes bus ride away, with three others within a half an hour radius? If that's not cool, then I don't know what is.

In a way, 19 is a pretty important age to be. Whereas 18 is the age where you get slapped with the label "grown up", whether you're ready or not, by the time you're 19 you've done a spectacular amount of growing up. Well, I guess that's just how I feel now since a lot has changed since I turned 18 (I say this every year, but I could probably say now that just about every aspect of my life is so different from what it was last year). In celebration of that fact, here's a whole lot of films that taught me a bit about growing up while I was growing up. Don't expect John Hughes films (don't get me wrong, they had their influence), but more a bunch of films that came out at vital times in my life and gave me a bit of perspective. And yeah, things get mushy.


An Education - Earlier this year I outlined my intense love for this film, mainly because it shows the struggles of living up to unreasonable expectations in every way possible. I've always found myself to be a little bit of a Jenny, trying my best to do things that I don't really care for, working hard but hoping that there'll be a little bit of fun around the corner, and maybe being a little too 'pretentious' for my age (now I'm grown up and living with a whole lot of engineers, I'm just known as the weird Arts degree student). Just as the title suggests, it has always been a film that I go back to get an education, whether it be about getting a "real" education or an education from "the university of life".




500 Days of Summer - Just because it gives you a lot of perspective on idealising and relying on other people to make you happy. And relationship stuff. And that expectations/reality scene still hurts me to this very day. Also, it spurred my five year long crush on Joseph Gordon-Levitt who is one of my favourite human beings on the planet and who inadvertently taught me how to be a better person. So I guess that counts as growing up also, doesn't it?


Cemetery Junction - This is an extremely underrated and underseen film, but one I've held dear to my heart since I first gave it a blind watch in late 2010. Most of the reason why I connected with it so well (and pretty much whoever else I showed it to) was the fact that I lived in a place very similar to Cemetery Junction, where people very comfortably 'exist' and don't really know what's going on outside of the town. It's something that I've always hated and found most gratifying when I got out of Dannevirke, because the idea of making do with what little is there and existing is not one that I've ever really enjoyed. Yet, the strange thing is that the people I grew up with became the new generation of people who could help Dannevirke be a better place, but we all left because we were so over it. And that's what Cemetery Junction is effectively about - those who outgrow their surroundings and what they've always done, vs those who are far too comfortable with it. Of course, this is a film by Stephen Merchant and Ricky Gervais so there's a bit of off-humour in there, but this film deserves a lot more credit than it ever got.


Young Adult - This film isn't so much about growing up as it is about those who never grow up. Even though it never sets foot in a high school, it is just as much about high school as something like, say, Mean Girls. Mavis Gary may be somewhat successful, but everything she is about is all about who she was in high school. And that kind of fascinates me, since high school was generally a pretty okay time for me but you can't really apply any of the social things you learned at high school to real life. Basically - I don't wanna turn out like Mavis Gary. But she's a fascinating character nonetheless.


Before Sunrise/Before Sunset/Before Midnight - Basically because this film has given me a lot of conversations which I hope to have in the future. It isn't really about growing up, but more about living, and it is beautiful.


The Perks of Being a Wallflower - Obviously this was going to make the list. The Perks of Being a Wallflower was my go to movie last year. Through all of the good times and the tough times, it was always there. It was kind of a perfect film to have around when I was doing my final year of high school since most of it was about those final days (even if it was through the eyes of a junior) and those moments that make you alive as a teenager. Even at the risk of sounding like a little oversaturated Tumblr kid, the teenage years are the time to feel infinite. I kind of miss that feeling already.


The Spectacular Now - Just as The Perks of Being a Wallflower was there for my final high school year, The Spectacular Now came into my life right at the very end. It was just one of those movies that came along at a perfect time. As I've said before, I am Aimee and that scares me a lot but it has comforted me a little bit through some trying times. That's the real beauty of film in general - when you find a movie that you really connect with, they're the best at giving you advice on life because someone is actually thinking like you. Plus, I'm not gonna lie, but the final days of high school are actually pretty terrifying when you're not entirely sure of what you wanna do and you just wanna live in the "now". Even though pretty much everything is based on how well you do as a teenager, it is the time when you wanna live in the "now". The Spectacular Now is a pretty sad deconstruction of that, but it'll probably be the film I go back to in order to live these formative years.


Boyhood - I realise that I only just saw this last week, but the bottom line is: this film is actually like watching my childhood unfold because the course of the film runs parallel to the time which I grew up in. Also, I love this film a lot. That's really all I can say.

What were the films that told you about growing up? Any thoughts on being 19?

So here we are, at the five year anniversary of this little corner of the web. It is weird to think of this time five years ago where I would have been furiously tapping away at the big keys of my Dad's desktop PC to create my paragraph-long thinkpiece on Let the Right One In. Okay, so thinkpiece is a loose term for this very vague review. The ironic thing is, I wrote that review in my first year of high school. Just recently, I wrote an essay on the same film for my first year of university (which got an A, so apparently I'm smart). So why's this important?

Usually, I'd have some post to celebrate an anniversary with all of these thank yous and lists of movies that have meant a lot during the years. And believe me, I've thought about this five year anniversary and what I'd do for it for the last couple of years. But I've said it before, and I'll say it again: this blog has been a great way to track the way I've grown up. Through my changing movie tastes (hello not watching Hannah Montana: The Movie for 'fun') to the way my writing has developed to how my life went through all of these strange milestones. It was great for those formative high school years, figuring out all those weird questions of "who am I, what am I doing, what will I choose as my career when I can't even decide to have for breakfast this morning?"

Admittedly, this year has been a strange one where everything has changed in so many ways. Gone are the days of having to go 45 minutes to get to a cinema and instead I've been to the cinemas 37 times this year (so almost once a week). I've gone from only ever living in three different houses in my life to living in four different places in one year. I've learnt about the perils of referencing (can't we all just use one referencing style instead of jamming MLA, Harvard, APA and Chicago into one semester?!), how to put up with constant abuse from the engineers about the fact that my Arts degree 'will not get me a job', the weird feeling of being in a relationship with someone who is too good to be true. So while my blog has been the perfect thing through a whole lot of transitions, it hasn't been all that present this year as I've been making some of the biggest transitions in my life.

And believe me, it isn't like I haven't tried. I've written so many drafts for posts and just got to the point where it no longer makes sense, so I delete it. I would love to throw my hat into the rather expansive ring of thinkpieces about Gone Girl, but a) I'd just be fangirling over how perfect Rosamund Pike was and how David Fincher's direction was ON POINT, b) I'm still feeling guilty over dragging my boyfriend to see it twice and c) there's so much discussion on it, where do I even begin? I would love to tell y'all about how my life did not turn out like Before Sunrise or The Spectacular Now (actually, it kinda did...). I would love to write another post on how much I love Shame or how much I want Interstellar to be in my life right now or how much The Equalizer rubbed me up the wrong way.

Problem is, I don't. I'll always look back to posts I wrote in 2011/2012 and most likely think "damn, I was such a good writer, what happened?" Thing is, I'm not the same person I was back then. The blogging world is not the same sanctuary it was then. I used to be very clear about what I wanted this blog to be like when I wasn't so sure of what I wanted to do with my own life. I've kinda lost that now.

This makes it sound like I will finally cut the cords on this wee high school project, but that's something I don't really wish to do. Especially considering my degree is really all about writing and I'm happiest when I'm writing, this is a good little haven to come back to. It just might be that I'm ready to take a new direction and stop wishing that I could be at the same stage of blogging that I have been through the past five years. Yes, it is a great thing that I have an online record of how much I've changed throughout the years. And yes, it is a great thing that I managed to (loosely) keep up with it for five whole years. So even though this seems like I'm moving on, let's just see it as moving forward.

(allow for soppy story to ensue)

Through going to the cinemas so many times this year, it has easily become my absolute favourite thing to do. I admit to still looking up at the light coming from the projector like I used to do as a kid, loving the waft of buttery popcorn smell you get as you come up the escalator, and being so comfortable in the warmth of the glow from the screen. I've seen some bad films this year, and I've seen some great ones (behold the wonder that is Boyhood), but no matter what film it is, I always love this stuff. Especially having someone to share it with now. And something that I've found while being at university is that passion does matter and passion is the only thing that'll get you through. So of course, I'd hate to lose this little corner of the internet that allows to me to express my passion. I've been kind of awful at it in the last few months, and I may continue to be awful at it, but I'll still be here in some small way.

So finally, I'd like to thank the people who have come and gone or stayed at some stage through the past five years. It has been a great time growing up with you guys, and I look forward to sharing some more thinklings and discussions with you.

And if I don't, someone just kick me up the butt for some encouragement, huh?

There's a scene in Whiplash where Andrew (Miles Teller, gradually building up a pretty great filmography with his best work so far) tells his would-be girlfriend Nicole (Melissa Benoist) that he can't date her because he is too focused on his drumming. He refuses to not only allow himself to resent her for wanting to interrupt this focus, but also to stop her for resenting him because she'll only be second best. He reasons that he is doing this not because he wants to be "great", instead wanting to be "one of the greats."

There was something so strange about this scene. At the beginning of the film, Andrew coyly asked Nicole out after months of going to the cinema where she worked and thinking he might have a shot with her. This happens midway through the film, where Nicole could be the only really positive connection (besides his father) he has in life, and yet he chooses to pursue his dreams of being one of the greats. Usually, we'll have a love interest helping the wannabe hero on his way, but the film doesn't have time to waste on human connections. It only has time to spare to tell a story of blood, sweat and tears.

No, this isn't some action/thriller a la The Equalizer. Instead, this is a drama about a first-year student at one of the top music schools in America hoping to achieve his dreams and aspirations of being the next big thing in drumming. Stripped away of a love interest, a highly dramatised back story explaining why Andrew must achieve his dream and a tear-filled speech about how he'll overcome adversity, this film leaves us with the raw, unflinching core of achieving something great: perseverance. This portrait of perseverance is splattered with hands covered in blood and blistered and sweat dripping off cymbals, and also the dark and intimidating figure of Terence Fletcher (J.K. Simmons, who is terrifying and certainly deserves the Oscar buzz), a music instructor who will stop at nothing to achieve absolute perfection.


Whiplash is probably more terrifying and intense than your average horror fare. Who knew that a film about a guy drumming could have you coming out the other side feeling exhausted and hoping that your hands haven't spontaneously grown blisters like the ones that Andrew deals with. What you really come away with, though, is questioning what can truly make someone "one of the greats". We now live in a society where there are plenty of inspirational quotes to keep you going through life, all with the same kind of message: "just do it, don't let anyone get in the way of your dreams, you can do it no matter what."Whiplash presents a message that is somewhat the antithesis of that, showing a more discouraging side to achieving the big dream, mostly in the form of Fletcher. This is a guy who knows that musical perfection can exist out there, but this is only found by exceeding expectations. He isn't the guy that will tell you to practice until you physically can't take it any more, he's more interested in destroying you emotionally to see if you still want your dream.

The film begs the question: why would anyone keep going under the mentorship of Fletcher? He hurls chairs at Andrew while he's drumming, uses Andrew's own personal problems against him, he forces three drummers to drum non-stop for hours on end in order to find a tempo that seems unachievable. You can look at it this way: most of us would just give up and walk away, knowing that Fletcher's kind of discouragement is probably correct and maybe you're in the wrong career. Andrew sees Fletcher as a villain to conquer, perhaps as a human form of his own self-loathing. Andrew is driven to hell and back by Fletcher. Does it make him a better drummer? Maybe. Does it make him better as a person? No. Fletcher is the thing that Andrew must overcome, and is the real thing that keeps Andrew going. For that reason, the film is pretty conventional in its narrative, being a simple tale of the villain that must be overcome by the hero. Through the drumming context though, the film has a more unconventional way of telling an age old story.


Yet, the film carries a pretty heavy message. Andrew is so young and embarks on his new college life with plenty of ambition to be amazing, which I find is something that is severely lacking in people my age. This is a time when you're supposed to have lots of friends and get the girls and have fun, but Andrew is the person who ditches his one human connection for practising the drums into the wee hours of the morning. Perhaps he has a little too much of that fresh-faced optimism that people his age have, and that makes him such an easy target for Fletcher. But you have to wonder what writer/director Damien Chazelle is really trying to say about the power of being "one of the greats", particularly in the music industry, in times like these when anybody can become famous on YouTube or on any one of the many talent shows. Someone as young as Andrew isn't supposed to be great because he hasn't had a lot of experience, but with someone as discouraging as Fletcher, why would you want to get any more experience? Andrew doesn't seem to be a particularly great drummer at the beginning and is more in tune with his dreams rather than his raw talent, so will practising for hours on end help him achieve his dream or does he just lack the talent? What is it that makes someone one of the greats? Fletcher seems to think he knows, Andrew thinks that he has what it takes. The blood, sweat and tears are certainly indicative of Andrew earning his right to say "ya know what? I'm trying really hard and I'm putting in the effort to become great." And yes, we as an audience want to give him a gold star and yell at Fletcher for being too harsh on him. Because that's the society that we've become: one obsessed with rewarding people for looking the part and putting their participation flag up, instead of going beyond expectations.

I think what Chazelle is trying to say with Whiplash is that we're a society who barely allows someone to dream enough to become one of the greats, and because just being is enough. The ones who genuinely try, like Andrew, are destined to be discouraged by people like Fletcher who won't settle for enough in a society where you barely need to even be enough. He then punishes Andrew - who thinks he's enough - to the point where he longer wants to be any more than enough. Though the film doesn't stake a claim in showing how those who aim low will always succeed, it does show that those who aim high and destined to have a tougher time.

And that's what makes Whiplash possibly one of the scariest movies of 2014: why should my generation even bother having ambition or value a hard-working ethic? Why try too hard if it has little gain? Will we even be capable of producing "one of the greats"?

Pretty scary stuff.

Of course, if you've been around these parts for a little while, you'll know that I've been a pretty huge Christopher Nolan fan since 2010. It has reached some pretty fanatical heights (why yes I do own two copies of Memento, a copy of the Inception shooting script and bought a special collectors edition of The Dark Knight Rises that came with little figurines), I may call him God from time to time and I do get exceptionally excited whenever I hear his name mentioned. So of course, once I heard he was doing a film with my favourite person ever Jessica Chastain, along with my other favourites Matthew McConaughey and Anne Hathaway, I was very excited. Levels of excitement included being a countdown for the film from April 6th, using procrastination time to watch the trailers over and over again and possibly just about amputating my boyfriend's hand whenever the trailer came on before the movies we saw at the cinemas.

You'd be expecting me to hightail into this movie with the "Nolan is God, he can do know wrong, #Nolanfangirl" attitude.

Thing is, Interstellar is not perfect. And that's okay.

I have a feeling there'll be a lot of talk about Interstellar over the next few days, so I'll keep this a little brief. I'd have to give this another watch to fully absorb it, particularly in the Xtremescreen format instead of just the normal cinema viewing (damn you, exams). But yes, everything you've heard about the technological achievements of this film are true - this film is probably one of the greatest visual experiences I have ever had. Nolan's new teaming with cinematographer Hoyte van Hoytema (the guy behind the incredible cinematography of Let the Right One In, Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy and Her) has produced some pretty incredible results, giving this film this weird blend of independent sensibilities - think Memento-era Nolan, with the polished pride of something like Inception. The visual effects work on the space scenes, along with the real locations used to represent the other planets are all absolutely perfect.


In terms of being compared to Nolan's other work - and of course, I'll have to give it another watch considering I've seen each of his films at least three times, with The Dark Knight being viewed over 25 times - I wouldn't say that this is one of his best. It lacks the completed narrative of Memento (and to be honest, I would take a lot for that film to be topped for me), the general magic of The Dark Knight and the cleanness of Inception. I'd currently place it somewhere in between The Prestige and The Dark Knight Rises if I were ranking his films, but since it is a little too early to tell, here's what I will say: Interstellar is in no way like any of his other films. Yet, in saying that, it isn't like he is departing from the style of anything he's previously done - it just doesn't neatly fit with the rest of his trajectory. Or any cinematic trajectory for that matter. The thing that stands out most about Interstellar is that it shows incomparable ambition that is precisely the reason why I love film so much.

Let's just take a second to appreciate how damn ambitious Interstellar is and for that reason alone it should be counted as one of the greats. Every single frame is dripping with ambition. Nolan has brought out everything in full force, and where we think that he'll step back in fear of going too far, he chooses to go further. He goes much further with this film than what is generally 'required' by a film, and maybe that won't be to everyone's taste but I was utterly in awe of what he was doing. The emotional strain of this film is absolutely beautiful, mostly due to the wonderful performances by Matthew McConaughey along with Mackenzie Foy and Jessica Chastain playing Murph at different ages. Apparently the scientific stuff was pretty interesting, but even though I didn't really understand some of it, it was still broken down in such a way that it was easy to swallow.


Again, the film isn't perfect - it is hard to pinpoint reasons why, but it is so very close to being a masterpiece. The really fanatical Nolan fanboys will tell you this movie is resoundingly perfect, and they could be right. The really fanatical Nolan haters will tell you that it is overlong and silly, and they could be right too. Even though I've been hyped up for this film for months, I am hesitant to say whether it lived up to my expectations, but I don't think they ever extended beyond me being generally excited to see my favourite actress in a film by my favourite director. It is going to generate some interesting discussion by being a bit divisive - and I think that's something we're lacking a little these days with films either being "good enough", "MASTERPIECE (that we'll inevitably forget about anyway)" or "wow that sucked". Above all, I'm still floored by the ambition and courage of this movie, but it isn't perfect by any means. And you know what? I'm not even disappointed that it wasn't perfect. I'm not even disappointed that it doesn't rank high among Nolan's best. I'm not even disappointed after months of waiting, it didn't completely change my world in a way that some of Nolan's films have. I'm grateful that it reminded me of love these stupid little things called film and want to make a career out of them - Interstellar is direct proof of how much ambition can be put into them.

If you really need proof of just how much I was affected by this film, I cried quite profusely four separate times during the film, characteristically cried at the sight of Christopher Nolan's name, then cried for a full fifteen minutes after the film. I'd like to say that I've grown out of Nolan's films emotionally wrecking me, but I haven't.

Chances are you haven't seen - or maybe even heard of - Predestination. I'm not entirely sure when its planned release date is for wider markets, nor am I sure why it was released in New Zealand in mid-September, smack bang in the middle of an extreme dry spell at the multiplex. If you want a quick debrief on the film: its touted as a time-travel thriller directed by the Spierig Brothers (who last directed the equally underseen 2010 vampire flick Daybreakers) and stars man of the moment Ethan Hawke and breakout star Sarah Snook. I suggest watching the trailer so it becomes a little clearer as to why this movie is a little different and surprising, as it is the complete opposite to what they're selling.

It isn't a new phenomenon to have the trailer ramp up the intensity of the action to draw in the masses, nor is it new to have a trailer totally misrepresent a movie. What happens when a movie is totally unsellable, though? Because that's what Predestination is - something that can't be easily packaged into an appealing marketing ploy. Yes, it's a time travel thriller. But it has more in common with Philomena than Looper. So take that as you will.


For a relatively short 90 minute running time, the film spends the first hour explaining the story of someone who isn't Ethan Hawke - even though he is marketed as the main star of the film (again, not unusual for marketing to play up a star who has been around since the 90s, but you'd be surprised about how long it takes for his character to become anything important). Instead, we focus on the 'Unmarried Mother', played by Sarah Snook, who's story takes centre stage in the film and surprisingly isn't about time travel at all. The last half an hour finally gets to the time travel stuff you were wondering about originally, and all of a sudden the film transcends into a Looper-like, spirally thriller that eventuates into something that is a little predictable. You could say that the element of time travel - or just time itself (similar to what Interstellar did) - does gel together both of the different plots/different films and kind of makes it into something that undoes the cynicism the film begins with. It has been a little while since I saw it, but all I can remember saying about the film directly after walking out of the theatre was that it was 'a big ideas film.' Most of them centre around the character of the Unmarried Mother, some of them play with time, along with an element of revenge that is used to propel the plot. You could say that the film punches above its weight in its short running time, but it also manages to feel a lot longer than the 90 minutes. That's not to say that it is boring, it is just so unexpectedly strange.


The problem with the film isn't that it was marketed to be something that it wasn't. It certainly isn't that the film is completely unsellable from a marketing point of view. I just think this film is an interesting experiment on audience expectations. Time travel films usually always end up the same - and yes, this film does wind up being the same by the end - and Predestination throws a new element (or character) into the mix brings her centre stage. It probably wouldn't have worked had it not been for the masterful performance by Sarah Snook, who crafts such an intricately multi-faceted character with ease. Looking for that apparently elusive 'well-written female character'? Look no further than this, and be amazed by the stellar work by Snook. It's a performance so other-worldly that it doesn't feel like it belongs in a supposed simple film about time travel. Looking back on it, this highlighted again how I felt about the strangeness of this film. It is so unique, only to fall back into something so predictable. It is so close to being something great before it does a 180-degree flip into the same paradoxical loop of time travel tropes. I'd say that Predestination is an interesting experiment in genre-bending. It mostly works. But its willingness to easily fall into normal audience expectations after completely shattering them was a little disappointing.

So yes - I'm not exactly sure of how to easily sum up Predestination for an Ethan Hawke fan or someone looking for Looper 2.0 or anyone who wants to see some classic stylish gun-toting. In fact, I'm not sure of how I could sum up Predestination for anyone. Which I guess means that Predestination was pretty successful considering most films these days can be summed up by a simple sentence.

Woo...where to even begin with this.

Hello hello, it is me - occasional tweeter,semi-aesthetic film Instagrammer, and self-professed 'former film blogging child prodigy'.

I've spent my Sunday afternoon flicking through a few of my posts that I wrote on here before I abandoned it. I'm listening to Lana Del Rey's 'Born to Die' album, which was the soundtrack to everything I wrote from September 2012 until the end of that year - I like to think that was the heyday of my blogging years, where I had so many lofty ambitions for what I could do with my passion for film and when taking a week away from the blog was akin to taking annual leave from an actual job. I'm feeling a little sad, a touch mad at myself for giving up on all of this...especially, when I was told in the aforementioned heyday of this blog that I would one day lose my passion for film and writing at some point in my life. Anyone who knows me will know that I'm unusually stubborn - if I get told that my life will go in one direction, I'll do anything in my power to steer it in the other direction.

I did, however, lose my passion for film and writing somewhere along the way. And that's why I abandoned all of this.

It has been almost four years since I wrote my last post, an unusually strong review of the film Predestination, which features that performance by Sarah Snook that I will always and forever contest as one of the best performances of this decade. In those last four years, I graduated with two degrees in media and communication. I got a scholarship to study for a semester in Finland, which changed my life in the most unexpected ways. I've travelled to over 15 other countries, where I started a new passion: travel, but more specifically, travelling to Sweden. I've become obsessed with high end makeup - when I was last on this blog, I used to only wear poorly colour matched and blended foundation, but now I spend a large chunk of my morning routine blending a smokey eye. I moved 3/4 of the way up the country after I graduated to give myself better job opportunities, but they took a little while to come (more on that later, maybe). On the more serious side, I was diagnosed with a myriad of issues with my reproductive system - mild endometriosis, PCOS and PMDD - which left me grappling with an uncertain future for my fertility when I was only 19. My long ignored mental health issues also became increasingly difficult to deal with. I started having frequent and severe panic attacks when I was 21 (although the anxiety has certainly been there since I was a child, but we just put it down to me being shy and an overthinker). For the past year and a half, I've dealt with some fairly bad bouts of depression - that's something I wish I could explain, but it isn't exactly in the past and there's no simple answer for it.

And hey, all of these life changes can be expected. Even if I tried, I couldn't be the same 17 year old girl from a small town with big dreams that I was in 2012. Things became difficult/crazy/strange/different for me - as they do for everyone - and suddenly, I couldn't sit down and write about movies. In fact, I couldn't sit down and let myself write anything that wasn't a university paper for just about four years. I wanted it to be perfect, I wanted to have the hottest take on something, I wanted to understand a film better than anyone else did. But I wasn't capable of that, so I'd stop myself before I even tried to write about XYZ film. And then when I started struggling more with my brain, I could put on a film and absolutely not take anything in. That felt horrible, because it wasn't something I was deciding to do myself - I had no control over it. There was a period of time last year where I became extremely ill, which I'm told was potentially because I was having a nervous breakdown of some kind. In that time, I couldn't go to the cinema without feeling so anxious I was extremely nauseous. Great, I thought. One of my happiest of places was being taken away by the fact that my brain and my body didn't want to play ball. The first film I was able to see in cinema again was The Disaster Artist. I initially felt so nauseous I was about to leave, but the film made me laugh so much, and then made me so hopeful, that for a moment I felt like everything was going to be normal again. In terms of me and my movies, of course.

So it has been a little strange to read through some of the stuff I previously wrote and be like 'damn, I was actually a good writer'. I never thought much of what I was doing on this blog while I was doing it. I just enjoyed having a space where I could talk about the things that mattered to me, and people who dug that would be around to push the conversation. I didn't really worry about my writing having a 'point', I was just genuinely happy to be able to share my own connection with certain films. The moment when I became too hard on myself about this little passion project seemed to signify that I had completely lost the part of myself that was dedicated to this site, and it was never going to return.

I don't think I ever truly lost that part of myself. It was just buried under a tonne of self-loathing, sadness, illness, finding new things to be passionate about, trying to find myself (which has been very difficult for me to learn that this is an on-going process and not something that can be done by reading a few Tumblr quotes), and, well, life. So, maybe, if I try this out a little more, we can see how it goes. We can see if I can stop stopping myself from doing things just because I think that they aren't the most perfect, hottest takes on something.

I've been explaining this site a lot recently for some reason, and I'm always asked why I stopped, and then I'm told that I should get back into it. If only it were that easy, I tell them. Well, I just wrote this waffle in about 45 minutes. The whole 'Born to Die' album has just ended. I know this isn't going to be the thing that everyone wants to read. But it is here, etched on my little speck of the internet that has content that spans for almost nine years. And I'm going to work on that being enough for me.

I worked in two DVD stores while I was in high school and university. I'm 22, so arguably on the fringe of not being able to say 'I grew up going to the DVD store', but I'm somehow a veteran of a business very much from the yesteryear. Growing up was coloured with trailer loop discs, monthly pamphlets, the death of VHS, being angry that the DVD library only stretched so far, and seeing the business literally disintegrate before my eyes.

It is a little strange to know that just three years ago, I was spending my spare nights and Saturday mornings allowing people to take home (potentially scratched) DVDs while watching the same trailers loop around every 45 minutes. With the way things in the world are now, the whole DVD store model was never built to last - never mind the fact that when you rented out videos you had to rewind the tapes yourself. Unimaginable.

Now, when I say that my favourite job was at a DVD store, there isn't really a lot of competition - I've not had the best run with employment since both of the DVD stores I worked at closed down. I did, however, learn a lot about myself while spray and wiping discs and trying not to judge people who actually rented stuff from the R18 section.

The most inconsequential lessons first:

• If someone has racked up over $40 of late fees, you're probably never going to see that DVD again
• Bruce Willis and 50 Cent had a fairly fruitful straight-to-DVD career
• The NZ distributed copy of the movie Stolen Lives (which stars a young Jessica Chastain) spells Jon Hamm's name as 'John Hammm'
• The solution that is used in scratch removal machines (that business must have also gone down quickly) will dry your hands out like nothing else, gagging just at the thought of it
• People usually hate the movies you like and aren't afraid to tell you about it and you'll judge them based on their rental history anyway (but anything starring The Rock or literally anyone else from the Fast and Furious franchise is sure to be a bonafide hit)
• There's actually quite a few ways you can display DVDs on a shelf. My favourite is to showcase one and then stack the DVDs horizontally with the spines out. This works because a) it seems to be the least messy when customers touch it, b) you can quickly scan through the movies, and c) I could aggressively display The Prestige as being the main pick for a thriller starting with P

The more useful and applicable lessons:

• It kinda sucks when other employees don't care about the product as much as you do, but I genuinely think the people who are working in the few DVD stores that are left really actually care otherwise they wouldn't still be there
• Working sole charge shifts until 10pm actually really sucks, especially when you're a girl who needs to catch a bus at that time in a really iffy suburb (but you do learn your street smarts and how to be over protective when it comes to security)
• Being exposed to 1000s of trailers teaches you so much that you end up doing your Honours dissertation on how movie trailers actually tell you more about the industry than the movie itself - no, just me??
• I know what it looks like when a business rapidly starts declining, and there's nothing that can be done to save it. I also know what it looks like when the franchise stops supporting the business, and all of a sudden its on its own. I've seen a lot of warning signs in the DVD store business that I've seen in a couple of other jobs I've been in - which is probably a very unique perspective to have

The most important lesson of all, though, was that actually believing in the product that is paying your wages is incredibly important. For me, anyway. It sounds so simple (especially if you've been reading this blog for a while), but it has been a long hard road for me to realise that some of the issues I've had with motivation at my other jobs weren't because I was bad at them, it was because I just couldn't bring myself to really care about the endgame. I'm definitely an all or nothing kind of girl, which could be a flaw as much as it could be a strength. I didn't really realise this too much when I embarked on my post-uni hunt for jobs and it got me in a bit of a corner, but I'll be starting a new job soon that brings me back to getting movies seen by people. Jury's out on whether it'll work out, but I have a good feeling about it, which is a start.

Really, though, had I not had a DVD store in my life, I wouldn't have known I had a passion for movies that would take some pretty bizarre forms. I attribute a lot of my successes to Blockbuster and I am happy that I have a few of those life lessons under my belt at such a young age. It is weird to think that there's a small handful of these institutions left in the country (let alone the world).

But also, the one plus side of not working in a DVD store is that my DVD collection pretty much stopped growing three years ago. Which definitely came in handy when I moved 3/4 of the way up the country. Even though my collection took up a good 1/5 of our carload. How on earth did I have the money to buy all of them and can I have it back please?

2018 was something of a film renaissance for me. This could come down to a few things: a) I restarted my Letterboxd account after three years forgetting about the site, which helped keep me accountable for what I was watching; b) I moved cities and suddenly had triple the access to films (Academy Cinemas in Auckland CBD is a blessing); or c) I started working in film distribution in August, which gave me even more access to (free) films and has taught me a lot about the fact that you really have to see a film in the first weekend because cinemas have to churn through the content quickly (unless you're Bohemian Rhapsody, which after eight weeks is still getting the pick of the plum session times). A bonus reason could be that I'm no longer studying film, so I feel like I can watch a film without thinking about semiotics and hidden meanings and Aristotelean rhetoric. That's bliss.

I've gone back to my classic Hollywood roots, I've watched all of the versions of A Star is Born, I've watched two too many trashy Netflix Christmas films...it has been a wildly unpredictable year as to what I liked and what I thought I would like. Weirdly, I've only given one film from 2018 a 5/5 rating (which'll obviously be number one on this list), but there's been plenty of films I wanna scream from the rooftops about.

As per, I haven't nearly seen enough (due to my own laziness or the fact that NZ won't get most 2018 films until 2020) but I kinda like this list because it isn't what I expected it to be. Nevertheless, these films deserve a little shoutout!




I'll be the first to tell you that I wasn't completely sold with this film as a whole (I wasn't entirely sure about the Doctor's storyline) but I'm not sure that any film rocked me to my core this year the way that this one did. Guadagnino's approach to horror is intoxicating in the way that you absolutely do not want to be intoxicated, and it is glorious. Plus, as my Instagram bio says, 'i just want the best for dakota johnson's career' - this is it, chief.




Possibly the most light-hearted film I saw at the film festival, this was the perfect antidote to a cold, rainy winter night. I love Rose Byrne as a comedic actress, and this film is yet another showcase of her talents. While it is quite a simple love story, I loved what the film had to say about mega-fans and how their idols don't necessarily live up to what they want them to be. I can see that I'll be rewatching this charmer a lot in the future.




I feel like I don't really need to tell you how good this film is, because you'll already know that. Lynne Ramsay knows her way around a camera and a good story. This is an expertly crafted thriller by way of existential drama, with a strong central performance from unlikely hero Joaquin Phoenix. Was definitely worth the neck ache I got from sitting in the front row of a sold out session!




Private Life was unexpectedly unlike anything that I've seen before - a very honest, yet fully fleshed out narrative about a couple's struggle to have a baby. The characters in this film are its greatest asset, as you genuinely believe the situation that they're in because of the way their anxieties are pulled into it.




I'm quietly lol'n about the backlash this film is now privy to, but was there a better experience to have at the cinema this year? I don't think so. A ballsy move to make a film that relies on silence in 2018 - yet, I didn't hear a peep out of the audience during the entire film. That's rare.




This was the only film I saw more than once in theatres this year. What can I say, your girl loves her romantic comedies with instant-rewatch-appeal, and this film is perfect for that. It is funny, it is dramatic, it made me cry a few times, and Henry Golding is...ugh, I can't with that man. If you need me, I'll be holed up on my couch rewatching this 20 times a month.




I only watched this a week ago, but the more time I've had to mull it over, the more I love it - I can envision it being a lot higher in another iteration of this list. It is probably the funniest movie I've seen all year, with vintage Lanthimos staging and a fascinating dynamic between three actresses on the top of their game - Olivia Colman, Rachel Weisz and Emma Stone. The thing I weirdly loved the most was that the men in this film are so secondary to the women, and the film has fun with that.




This was one of the most consistently entertaining films I saw this year. It was also a genius approach to retelling a story of people who made some poor decisions, playing with perception and form to make you both revile and root for the guys at the centre of the film.




Alexander McQueen had a life plagued with tragedy, which could have easily been sensationalised in a documentary focused on the drama that shaped him. McQueen, instead, uses Alexander's unique fashion designs as the driving force of this film, and weaves the key points of his life into the fabric of the film. What results is a moving, full celebration of a fashion maestro who had an incredible ability to put his life into his art.




For some reason, I'm particularly drawn to films about failing marriages, and Wildlife does it exceptionally well. The failing marriage is that of Carey Mulligan and Jake Gyllenhaal's characters, but it is seen entirely through the perspective of their 14 year old son who is old enough to understand, but still naive enough to not fully grasp the rift between his parents. Mulligan absolutely commands this film as a difficult, impulsive woman longing for her youth.




It took a hot minute to get this showing in NZ (I bought tickets six weeks in advance for the first screening at the end of November), but it was worth the wait. This film is alive. I couldn't even explain it if I tried, as it is went to some very unexpected places while still possibly being better than I expected it to be (I had high expectations). Also, where can we sign up Lakeith Stanfield to be in everything?




This was possibly my most anticipated film for the year, with the original 1937 film being the first film that ever made me cry - I needed a good, emotional film at this point of the year. Despite knowing exactly what was around the corner, A Star is Born still hit those emotional high notes, mostly due to a couple of stellar performances from Bradley Cooper (who I have believed in all these years and he is delivering) and Lady Gaga.




Every man and his dog has been hyping this movie up and I'm not about to ignite the Netflix vs. big screen experience debate but this movie. I didn't expect it to absolutely wreck me in the way it did. This is an immersive film in every sense of the world - you become embroiled in Cleo's world, which makes the final act all the more of a rollercoaster.




A movie directed by Steve McQueen with a script he co-wrote with Gillian Flynn with a cast like that? I was sold well before the movie even hit theatres. Even though my expectations were high, I didn't expect to spend the final act with my jaw dropped. This is an expertly made, extremely well-performed (FYC Elizabeth Debicki thank you very much), tensely crafted thriller that almost doesn't let up. It's like five movies in one.




I was fortunate enough to see Leave No Trace with a sell-out crowd at Auckland's Civic Theatre, followed by a Q&A with Debra Granik and actress Thomasin Harcourt McKenzie. I knew from the moment the film ended that I had just seen the best movie of the year. Granik's commitment to capturing the life of people on the edges of society has never been more eloquent and rich than it is here. This is a film that doesn't offer any easy answers and lets its characters go through the motions, trying to assimilate to a normal life at different paces. Leave No Trace is a striking, complex work of art that truly doesn't get the love it deserves.

So what do we think? Any recommendations for films I should catch up on? What films have you been screaming from the rooftops about?!

Tomorrow is Waitangi Day - which, as you likely don't know, is a national public holiday in New Zealand to commemorate the signing of the Treaty of Waitangi (if you want to know more, attend any kind of school in NZ). So I thought, what better way to celebrate than tell you a few home truths about the country I've lived in for my entire life. Because you've always wanted to know more about New Zealand. I suppose.

1) Everyone knows someone who was in Lord of the Rings. 



If you watch Lord of the Rings (as most NZers are required to do and required to like), then yes, you're essentially watching a nine hour long tourism video for our vast green landscape and mountains. And then you add in the nine hours of The Hobbit and wow, that's 18 hours of tourism endorsement from Peter Jackson. Seriously, it will take most of you 18 hours to fly here, so you may as well just spend that time watching Middle Earth because all you can really do here is make like a Hobbit and go walking around on mountains and stuff. But anyway, one of the coolest things is that in those 18 hours, literally everyone in NZ can go "hey, I know someone who worked on this". I know several jockeys who were a part of the big horse riding scenes. And just recently the guy who was used as a height scaler (because he is over two metres tall) for scenes where Gandalf and the Hobbits are together just moved into Dannevirke, and now he lives next door to my sister. I have him a membership at Blockbuster, and he is besties with Peter Jackson. Plus some guy from my high school did effects work on The Hobbit. So yeah.



2) If you're going to do anything in the film industry, you are going to be Peter Jackson.



I get this a lot, because this is currently a scene out of my life:

"So what are you off to do?"
"I'm going to Canterbury to study Cinema and English."
"Cinema? How do you study cinema?"
"I want to be a filmmaker one day *nervously laughs because it sounds so stupid and ambitious and crazy when I say that and people don't understand*"
"Oh my gosh! Like Peter Jackson?!"

I've had this exact conversation at work, at school, sober driving people at 12am, on the streets of Dannevirke, at cafes...if I had a dollar for every time someone said "you're going to be the next Peter Jackson!" to me then maybe I'd be able to afford university. I kinda want to be the next Jane Campion instead, but that's all good.

3) We don't all personally know Lorde, nor are we all related to her.



No, just because Lorde is a year younger than me and because New Zealand is apparently so small that we all know each other (4 million is not that small), does not mean that I'm best friends with her. I mean, I wish I was, just so I could sap some of her perfect writing skill, but no, I do not know Lorde. It is kinda funny though, because "Royals" came out around this time last year, and I thought it was sung by a 30 year old. And we were all kind of debating whether we liked the song for a while. Then we found out she was 16 and we all cried because how was a 16 year old more successful than all of us? So yeah, even though we all secretly hate her because she's doing so much better than all of us, we love her because her card once declined for Subway that was $8 and she does weird dancing on stage but she's literally the best thing that happened to NZ.

4) To be successful in the entertainment industry you have to be a child prodigy.



Okay so this is really only true in three cases but these guys have Oscars (and/or nominations) and Grammys to prove that talent is really only bestowed on young New Zealanders. Anna Paquin won an Oscar for her performance in The Piano when she was 11 years old, becoming the second youngest ever person to win an Oscar. Keisha Castle-Hughes was nominated for her performance in Whale Rider at age 13, which made her the youngest actress to be nominated in the Best Actress category until Quevenzhane Wallis showed up. And yeah, Lorde just won a couple of Grammys when she was 17. I also won Lammys and stuff when I was 15. Just don't grow up in NZ, because once you hit age 10 and realise you haven't won an Oscar it doesn't do good for your psyche.

5) Lord of the Rings isn't the only notable in the film industry.



We sure like pretending it is, but there are some cool people out there who hail from these shaky isles. Russell Crowe was born in Wellington (our capital) and moved to Auckland later, but now Australia have claimed him (though he did throw in a shout out for us in his Oscar acceptance speech for Gladiator). Andrew Niccol, the guy who wrote and directed Gattaca (and The Host but we like to forget about that) and was nominated for an Oscar for The Truman Show comes from Paraparaumu, which is just up the road from Wellington. Richard Curtis, writer of all your favourite romantic comedies, was born in Wellington to Australian parents, and was once Head Boy (see, I'm part of a legacy). Andrew Adamson, who directed Shrek, was born in Auckland. Martin Campbell, who directed Casino Royale, was born in Hastings, which is just up the road from Dannevirke and where I'd often go to the horse races. Zoe Bell, who you could probably tell with that accent in Death Proof, was born in Waiheke Island, which is around Auckland. Melanie Lynskey, best known for Heavenly Creatures but also for being bloody Aunt Helen in The Perks of Being a Wallflower, was born in New Plymouth. Karl Urban, who was in Star Trek and the majorly underrated Dredd, was born in Wellington. And Bret McKenzie, who wrote my favourite shower song "Man or Muppet" for The Muppets is the son of Peter McKenzie (who was also in Lord of the Rings), who used to train racehorses and was friends with my father. So yeah, it is a small group, but we do have a bit more to offer than nice looking landscape.

6) Don't associate us with Australia, they're always trying to claim our shit.



Okay, while I'd love to claim stuff like Margot Robbie, Baz Luhrmann, Elizabeth Debicki, Cate Blanchett etc, we as New Zealanders play fair. However, Australia is always stealing out shit. For one thing, don't confuse our accents. Ours are softer and kind of nice to listen to if you like listening to irritating accents. For another thing, there was once this horse named "Phar Lap" back in the 1920s/30s - if you ever need to know anything on this horse, I know everything - who, while trained in Australia, was born in Timaru (down the road from Christchurch) so technically is from New Zealand. There's this dessert called the "Pavlova", named after ballerina Anna Pavlova, which was invented in New Zealand, but because it tastes decent, Australia wants to claim it to. But hey, at least we don't say "sex" when we're trying to say "six", Australians.

Sorry if you're Australian. I like Australia a great deal. And half of New Zealand moves to Australia every year so all good.

7) We have no native mammals, just native birds.



So here's something interesting if you're into biology (which apparently I am, because I got top marks on a biology exam question). When Gondwanaland broke up and we were left with the Zealandia continent, most of what is now New Zealand was underwater so mammals, you know, had a hard time living on that. Anyway, New Zealand surfaced and there was a lot of plant life (and I mean a lot, where I live now used to be known as the 90-mile bush), and then birds flew here, interbred, and we got lots of native birds that included Moa and Kiwi. Because there were no predators at the time, many birds filled a vast range of ecological niches, including the ground floor, which was handy for the Kiwi since they were flightless. When NZ became populated with humans (we were one of the last land masses to do so), those humans brought mustelids such as stoats, ferrets and possums, which killed the easily targeted Kiwi and have left them on the brink of extinction. If you ever do come to New Zealand, make sure you go to Mount Bruce, which is a couple hours from Wellington, because they have a white Kiwi named Manukura, and seeing it will actually change your life.

8) This isn't the best place to come if you're scared of earthquakes.

This picture was taken just after the 2011 Christchurch earthquake...terrifying stuff.

Because of the many faultlines that run through New Zealand, we are otherwise known as the "shaky isles". There's a faultline that pretty much runs parallel to where I live. I'd say that aside from snakes, earthquakes are my greatest fear on Earth. Which is great, because I'm moving to Christchurch in a week, which, as many of you know, was devastated by two earthquakes in 2010 and 2011 (from a faultline no one knew existed), and the aftershocks there still continue. But that's okay - when I first went there in early 2010, I fell in love with the place, and even though the earthquakes temporarily put me off, it is actually the best place in New Zealand, because it is the only place where things are changing and are different. If you go on Geonet, you can see that there's an earthquake somewhere every few hours, with the most recent big one being around 30kms from where I live and resulted in me turning into The Wolf of Wall Street in front of customers at work and swearing often. They're not fun things.

9) Just some pictures to make yo' all jealous that you don't live in Middle Earth/the middle of nowhere.

The Southern Alps. I can't wait to fly back and forth between home and Christchurch in the winter to see these babies covered in snow.

Wai-O-Tapu Thermal Wonderland in Rotorua. It really stinks here (like all of Rotorua smells like rotten eggs) but some of thermal stuff is crazy.

Abel Tasman National Park in the South Island, where most people from my high school go for camps when they're Year 10. It is literally heaven on Earth.

10) New Zealand humour is actually the best.

More specifically, Jono and Ben at Ten humour is actually the best. It makes me sad that not everywhere in the world gets to see this program. Here's some of my favourite videos from it:







And here's a couple for all us movie people (like you are all legally required to watch these):





So yeah, that's NZ in a nutshell, both filmic and not. Anything else you could possibly need to know? Like what our Prime Minister John Key is really like from that ten seconds of meeting and photo time I once got from him? Or how there's enough sheep in New Zealand for every single person to have 12 sheep each? We're a treasure trove of fun facts!